This interview was culled from America Online's online chat with the character Stauf, from the million-selling The 7th Guest .
AOLiveMC: Welcome to Center Stage Mr. Henry Stauf! [shudder] Welcome Dan and thanks for being our host tonight!
DanAmrich: Thanks, Robert. It appears that everyone's online now, even the undead. It's with great pleasure that I present the freshly-summoned Henry Stauf!
RHToymaker: My dear guests, how delightful of you to drop by to converse with little old me. What can my humble HOUSE do for you, and what will YOU give in return? Before we begin the FEAST, I wish to give special thanks to a certain Mr. Amrich and to a certain Mr. KASH for digging me up. I have been among the DEAD for some 70 years so all this new fangled gadgetry is something of a PUZZLE to ME. (Ha Ha) Eventually, of course I hope to OWN it ALL and then like a tiny virus come visit it your HOUSE too. The possibilities make me drool. So dear My dear GUESTS it is a great pleasure to MEAT, ah, meet with you all. Let's put on a fresh POT of SOUP and settle in. I've looked forward to this time with you in delicious anticipation.
RHToymaker: Let The Games Begin. Here is a little puzzler to get us started: ERAVPZR YP ZU JPIDR - O'Z NssssssVL GSSS, gs, gs, gs.
RHToymaker: Come dear friends, it's a puzzle of course. (figure it Out!)
AOLiveMC8: Here's our first audience Question:
Question: Stauf, why are you such a mean and nasty guy?
RHToymaker: You have to be crazy to play in here sir or madame. But Thanks to you...... I'mmmmmm BaaaaccckKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!
Question: Mr. Stauf, how long did it take you to invent the puzzles of 7th Guest?
RHToymaker: My Dears, The entire house is a puzzle. It took some time to construct; sort of cat (Hi Scruffy) and mouse process. And it certainly took all the years THE HOUSE could lend me.
Question: Hi, I'd like to know when the movie is coming out and how is it compared to the game?
RHToymaker: You will have to consult those who own THE HOUSE concerning that. However, I'm just itching to be on film. Pass it Around!
Question: Hello. Let me ask, in the 11th Hour will you be using many chess puzzles? It drove me crazy, not knowing chess, in the 7th Guest.
RHToymaker: The chess puzzles are the cheese, the House is the trap and you, kind friend, are THE MOUSE. Hickory dickory dole, the Mousey climbed up the column before his foots could find the goal, all of me' Guesties had fallen'. HAAAAA-HHHHHaaaaaaaa-HHHHHHHaaaaaaa!
DanAmrich: In honor of Henry's summoning, Virgin and Trilobyte have donated 5 copies of The 11th Hour for PC CD-ROM. We'll be giving them away later, so stick around and win!
RHToymaker: Yes but, Do watch out for the spiders!
Question: Mr. Stauf, why did it take so long for you to resurface after 7th Guest?
RHToymaker: When one has to regenerate one's skin or in this case abduct anothers, it takes some 70 years.
Question: What exactly was the conclusion in the 7th Guest? What happened at the end exactly?
RHToymaker: You mean after we fricasseed TAD? - DINNER!
Question: Since your house burned down, where are you living now?
RHToymaker: The house is merely a figment of YOUR MIND. It can burn down or grow up in the instant it takes to be tempted. Are you tempted? The House, you see wants ONLY TO BE FED!
Question: With the 7th Guest being so well received and everyone anxiously awaiting the 11th Hour, have you got possibly ANOTHER sequel to follow after this?
RHToymaker: Not something I control. Depends on just how Hungry the House is, and how hungry you are.... IT is a malignant thing that plays on your weaknesses, as do I dear friend.
Question: What is it exactly you do with the souls of the little kiddies, once you've snatched them into the dolls?
RHToymaker: Tis the eyes of children that know and fear a Painted Devil. Children everywhere see EVIL where it exists. Only you older folks seem to "MYST" it entirely.
Question: Do you plan to make any other game appearances to taunt our minds some more?
RHToymaker: Mirror mirror on the keys, I can do YOU when I please, dear Guest... is that knocking sound your knees? Hellooooooo, may be solitaire is a better game for you!!!!
Question: Henry, love the games man...or ghoul? Although I have to admit that it is scary as hell.
Question: Mind telling us a bit before your deal with the devil? How you ended up desperate enough to kill that choir lady? A few insights in your demented mind.
RHToymaker: (Dementedly) "Cuckoo bird sits in an old gum tree, counting all the BLOOD drops he can see - He's Krazy, He's CRAZY." (Need a little FATMAN music to that, What say?) Ah yes, thee little old lady in the park...Well, from the moment I made that first "bargain" I AM BRADKRON! (Figure it out!)- How might that other great serial killer CETBAHM put it? "Having once stepped in BLOOD so far, 'Twere as hard to return as go O'er."
DanAmrich: :: Quietly and slowly moves to the other side of the stage, away from Henry::
Question: Mr. Stauf, are all of your typos coincidental? Or are they on purpose?
RHToymaker: I'm quite schizophrenic and never know quite who's in charge of the keyboard.
DanAmrich: It's rather difficult channeling Henry and typing at the same time, I'd expect. Virgin and Trilobyte have graciously given Critics' Choice (and Henry) five copies of The 11th Hour for PC CD-ROM and it's time to give them away to five lucky attendees. (Or is that unlucky? It's your doom...)
RHToymaker: Ah yes, in this house we feed on the servants and one can become hypoglycemic without one in the house. Do Come In!
DanAmrich: (Actually, it's your funeral, not your, um, doom.)
DanAmrich: Congrats to all - (...) your prizes will be shipped immediately!
AOLiveMC8: Congrats to you all!
DanAmrich: It would appear that our link to the spirit world has some, er, psychic line noise, so we must bid Henry a fond fare-thee-ne'er-do-well. Thanks for taking time out of your busy afterlife, Henry.
RHToymaker: The time had been when the brains were out the man would DIE. Here in this age we simply go online. I'd like to thank you all and hope to see you soon around the Soup POT.
DanAmrich: Thanks on behalf of Critics' Choice as well. (keyword CRITIC)!
AOLiveMC8: Thank you for joining us tonight Mr. Stauf! (as eerie as it was) And Dan, thanks for being a wonderful host!
DanAmrich: I'm just pushing this end of the Ouija board.
AOLiveMC8: Ladies and gentlemen, thanks for the great questions! Good night!
RHToymaker: Yes, it was a'maze to me...
OnlineHost: Copyright 1996 Critics' Choice; licensed to America Online, Inc.